what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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