If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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