no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
