I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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