i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
