i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
