I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
