I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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