: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
