do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize