I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
