I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize