I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
