Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize