Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
