who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
