...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
