just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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