apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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