Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Text me some of your sweat
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
