What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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