I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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