Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize