I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
