i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize