it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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