your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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