At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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