Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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