I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
