Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
