Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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