sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
