We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
