We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
