so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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