It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
