The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My vagina just clenched in fear
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
