so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize