i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
tonight lets celebrate not being married
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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