Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
