Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
