I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize