just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Found your dick twin last night
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
