haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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