Yo dont text me then not text me
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
