Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize