therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
