Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
