Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
