Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
