Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
