It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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