Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
