Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
