Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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