Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
