We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
