It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
