i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
