and you said cock pushups were impossible
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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