This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
