i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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