Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I will be naked everywhere
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize