is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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