So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
If I die, sorry about rent.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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