Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
