new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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